Here's the deal...

BW
Seattle
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Here's the deal... when you're being Cocky and Funny,
you must give up your fear of coming across as overly
arrogant. The secret lies within the FUNNY ingredient
of the formula.
A great model for Cocky and Funny is Triumph the Insult
Comic Dog. If you haven't seen him, go search online and
find his Star Wars video clip. You'll laugh until you
cry...
Then, go find the Bon Jovi clip. Another masterpiece.
You'll notice that Triumph is RUTHLESS with the sarcastic
comments... but THEY'RE ALL FUNNY.
And when he feels like he may have gone over the top, he
might throw in an "I kid, I kid". It's rare, but he does
do it on occasion.
If you feel like your comment might have been taken too
seriously, try a "sly smile". It's a combination of
squinting your eyes a little, pursing your lips, and
doing a slight half-mouthed smile. It's a nice touch.
In any event, you need to get over your fears, and get
out there and do it! You'll find the balance.
***QUESTION***
David:
I have been using the techniques like C&F and have had a
huge success. Honest to God, i now have several girls on
the ropes, and i have the luxury of choosing my choice. It
is wonderful. You are a genius. (i figured your ego needed
a little boost)
Now i have a situation on my hands. There is a new girl at
my workplace, who is very attractive and funny. We get
along great. The other day i told her about a concert that
i am going to and she begged me, not just begged but
pleaded with me to get her a ticket. Then within the next
5 minutes she was asking me for my number and email
address. That is right asking me. I made a smart remark
along the lines of "I've only been training you for 3 days
and you are already hitting on me, damn that has to be a
new record...(dramatic pause) Most girls only take a
couple of minutes to see my un-resistable charm." I realize
it isn't the greatest line ever but it worked. She was all
over it. And retorted with "I always was the stubborn
one." So now she is emailing me, and calling me and always
talking to me and flirting with me at work. So far so good,
here is where the problem kicks in. The other night i am
walking out from work and locking the building and she
looks over rolls her eyes, and sighs that her boyfriend is
here to pick her up. the next day she came to work and was
telling me that she and her boyfriend are going to be
breaking up soon and she doesn't know when. What do i do?
I mean to me all the signs are there, how do i field this
one? Do i even DARE field this one? HELP
n.s ND
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, two rules of thumb:
1. Don't dip your pen in the company ink.
2. Avoid women who are involved.
Why? Because it's usually just plain short-sighted to do
these things.
Some boyfriends are jealous and crazy, and if a workplace
romance goes bad (which they usually do), then it can
create all kinds of weird vibes. Trust me.
I have to comment, though... you're technique and flirting
is FANTASTIC. You're really onto something with this line
of humor. I love it.
***QUESTION***
I may be a little skeptical, but I am 37 yrs old and
have been divorced for 7 yrs. Although I have been told
many times that I am an attractive guy I have had one
date in the last 3 years, and I think it is because I am
also overweight. I am 6'1" and weigh around 340 lbs. I am
convinced that women these days are not attracted to big
guys like myself. I am also one of those "nice guys".
Do you really think that this cocky funny attitude that
I have been reading about would really work for a guy
like me? I am willing to try anything at this point
D.E.
Scranton (Pa.)
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yea, I think it would DEFINITELY work for you. In fact,
I think it will work for anyone who applies themselves
and figures it out.
We each have our own particular situation in life. No
two are the same.
Some guys are rich and look like Brad Pitt, some guys
are older and gray, some are overweight, some are bald,
and some are inexperienced.
We each have our own strengths, weaknesses, and particular
challenges in life.
This is one of the great things about being alive. We get
a particular hand dealt to us, and it's one of the great
joys in life to figure out how to best play it.
Honestly, from the way you explained yourself, I think that
you're unhappy with your weight. In other words, it sounds
to me like you've got MENTAL limitations and self-image
issues... so simple techniques alone probably aren't going
to solve your whole problem.
I'll bet that if you start working on your weight, while at
the SAME TIME practicing the techniques you've learned here
with women, the COMBINATION will yield better results.
When you improve two or more areas of your life at the same
time, you'll find that you often have far better than just
twice the results. But try to solve problems at the root,
and not just at the branch level alone.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Hey Dave,
Wanted to let you know a technique I've come up with that
combines two points you've made in the past:
1) You can create attraction with contrast (e.g. busting
on her verbally while your actions are gentlemanly)
2) Don't dip your pen in the company ink
So I use the hotties at work as target practice, honing
my game. BUT - I tone it down a bit and always do really
nice things for them, like if they need someone to carry
a box or open a drawer. So now they think I'm kind of
attractive, but also a bit of a wuss boy: not attractive
enough for THEM to date (keeping me out of trouble at
work), but PERFECT for a friend of theirs. Hotties hang
with hotties, and so far I've been set up with three
fiiiiiine young ladies this way (note: it helps to work
for a big company so you have a good selection and
distance between parties). Now, the friend has heard that
I'm a nice guy, so she's a little leery going into it -
then WHAM! I bust out as the Full Jedi Master. Once again,
contrast added to c+f. (As one said, "I heard you were
kind of cute, but she didn't tell me how hot you really
are!" For the record, I'm slightly above average.)
So far I'm 3-for-3 scoring major action on date one. I'm
keeping it cool, because there is the 2nd-hand work
connection, so it can be a little tricky, but that's part
of the fun. I let NO ONE get too close too soon, and
things continue hot 'n' heavy at MY pace, and everyone's
happy. I don't know if this will work for everyone, but
it's sure worked for me. You rock!!!
M.B.
Chicago
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Great points.
Attractive women know other attractive women.
And practicing on women at work is great! You can also
practice on waitresses that work at restaurants you
frequent, hostesses/receptionists at places you go
often, etc.
Women LOVE to have fun, chemically-charged interactions
with men... even if it's not leading to anything. So do
practice whenever you can.