start off the conversation or ask her out?

start off the conversation or ask her out?
I'm sure you know that most guys would rather admit in
public that they were unsure about their sexual orientation
than that they were afraid of women.
Of course, this only makes matters worse...
If you don't admit that you have the problem, then it's
hard to get help and answers to it.
Well, the good news is that you're not alone.
Almost every guy I've known (including myself) has dealt
with this issue MANY TIMES with women.
So STEP 1 is to GET OVER IT, and come to grips with the
fact that you're human... STEP 2 is to admit that you'd
like to get this particular thing handled.
Once you realize that it's not that big of a deal, then
the improvement can start. On the other hand, if you just
stay in denial about it, you'll probably just look for new
tricks and techniques to use on women... which, of course,
won't lead to any REAL improvement.
I personally think that one of the biggest causes of
fear when it comes to situations with women is:
PUTTING TOO MUCH IMPORTANCE ON WHAT THE WOMAN THINKS OF
YOU AND WHAT HAPPENS IN THAT PARTICULAR SITUATION.
To put it in different words, most guys don't take
action because they're afraid that they'll screw up or
that the woman (or others around them) will judge them to
be stupid.
The REAL problem, though, is that this whole process
has become AUTOMATIC, and it happens INSTANTLY the moment
most guys see a woman that they'd like to meet. Before
they even have a chance to think about the situation
rationally, they've become nervous, insecure, and upset.
I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about.
As humans, we have these incredible minds and bodies,
but sometimes they get wired up in ways that aren't
exactly useful for the situations that we find ourselves
in. Worse, sometimes our cultures, families, or peer
groups teach us ways of thinking that just aren't useful
at all for what we'd like to accomplish.
Here's something that I realized a few years ago when
I was learning for myself how to be successful with
women...
I thought about this idea that I was having this
instant, automatic fear in different situations with
women, and that I was really thinking "I don't want to
screw this up" and "I don't want her to think that I'm
a dork"...
And all of a sudden something dawned on me:
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
It doesn't matter what happens, and it doesn't matter
what she thinks of me.
I realized that the fears I was experiencing were more
from PROGRAMMING than from reality.
So I started to remind myself as often as possible
that the fear wasn't happening because there was any
kind of danger... and that my objective in a particular
situation wasn't to have it turn out perfect, IT WAS TO
LEARN.
So, for instance, if I saw a woman that I wanted to
meet, instead of thinking "OK, I have to say something
charming and original so she'll like me... and if I
screw up I'm going to be embarrassed" I began to think
things like "I'm going to learn how to get a woman's
phone number within a few minutes of meeting her... and
part of learning this is going to be trying a lot of
different things that probably aren't going to work...
but in the end, it's all going to even out because I'm
going to have the SKILL that I want."
See the difference?
Well, let me tell you, that attitude change made a
HUGE impact on my success. I was willing to do and try
things that I never would have tried in the past for
fear of screwing up...
All because I had the attitude of "I'm going to learn
something from this and improve my skills... and it
doesn't matter what happens in THIS PARTICULAR situation"
I was able to improve very rapidly.
And the more I began to apply this idea, the more
success I had in ALL areas with women... from the first
meeting, to getting them to go out with me, to taking
things to a physical level.
That's one good idea for dealing with your fears.
If you'd like to read more of my personal secrets
for overcoming fear, including specific mental exercises
and physical drills, then I'd recommend that you download
a copy of my online eBook "Double Your Dating". It's full
of all my very best thinking on this and many other
subjects about success with women.
Just go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
...now and get it. At my website I also give several other
great tips and ideas, so make sure and check it out.
And I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.