Treating others poorly,

being dishonest, treating others poorly, putting our
integrity aside for selfish reasons, etc. leads to that
constant, negative, dragging state of body and mind.
The problem arises when we go out into the world to
find a mate. It matters not whether we're looking for a
wife or a one-night stand...
As soon as we see a really attractive woman, most of
us guys become nervous, self conscious, and insecure. We
feel excitement and fear at the same time. The first
impulse is to approach and give compliments in a way
that says "You are a beautiful goddess, and I am a mere
mortal man... Please, if you would, see your way clear
to give me a chance to show you how much I adore you."
If the goddess indulges us for a moment, the next
impulse is usually to provide gifts and food, and to
show her what a great provider we are.
Of course, not every man experiences things in exactly
the same way, but you can probably empathize with what
I'm saying.
Here's the deal:
I USED TO BE EXACTLY LIKE THIS. I know EXACTLY what
it's like to want a woman's attention but not know how
to get it... so I'd give compliments, offer gifts and
food, and try every other "nice" trick in the book.
I did this for a long time. Many years, in fact.
I used this strategy long enough to realize a few
key things:
1) Approaching women this way doesn't usually work. They
immediately sense your insecurity, and mentally classify
you as "average" and "like the other 10 guys that
approached her today", etc.
2) ATTRACTION is a completely illogical process.
ATTRACTION also isn't a choice. ATTRACTION is a response
to certain things... and it happens on it's own.
3) Being a good guy is an important part of life.
Treating others well and always doing the right thing
leads to things like: A) Liking yourself, B) Happiness,
C) Good friendships, etc.
4) Being a "nice guy" when it comes to women and dating,
especially when it is used enough to make you qualify as
a WUSSY is a REALLY REALLY BAD idea.
5) There are certain techniques that can be learned
which will help you get past the initial meeting and
dating period... and help you not only stand out as a
"not average" guy, but also create the magical emotion
of ATTRACTION inside women.
6) The great news is that you don't have to be ultra
handsome, rich, or famous to do it.
The gist of what I'm saying is that if you know how
to create this ATTRACTION inside of women, then you can
overcome just about any "social stigma" that might be
attached to you (yes, even 4 kids!).
Some people get upset when they read about my
techniques... they don't like the idea of making fun of
a woman, busting her balls, being Cocky and Funny, etc.
They just want to "be themselves" and have a woman
"like them for who they are".
Of course, these same guys ALMOST ALWAYS like to
buy women flowers and dinner, give compliments, accept
manipulative behavior... and generally do ALL KINDS OF
THINGS that I consider "very manipulative" and "not-atall-
being-yourself" kinds of behavior.
Go figure.
The point is that when you made the comment about
the qualities that make up "nice guy" don't really help
you out when it comes to women and dating, you REALLY
hit the nail on the head.
It's not that you have to be an abusive-loser-jerk, but
you must realize that there are certain qualities that
aren't what one might consider "nice-guyish" that PUSH
THE ATTRACTION BUTTONS inside of women.
These are the things like being Cocky and Funny,
teasing women, busting on them, and generally being a
challenge.
If you decide that a woman you've met is "long term"
relationship material, then you can start doing the
things that you'd do with someone who has earned your
respect and trust. It's at this point that doing "nice
guy" things makes more sense.
BUT WATCH OUT! Don't unexpectedly turn in to Mr.
Wussy just because a woman wants to have a relationship
with you. Nothing can make a woman want to be "just
friends" faster...
No matter what you do, you still must maintain a
balance.
So to answer your question about how to overcome
the objection to four kids...
First, realize that the women you're meeting fall
into roughly a few categories:
1) Those that aren't interested at all, no matter what.
Maybe they're gay, happily married, not interested...
or all of the above.
2) Those that are interested in being with you for some
short term fun, but aren't interested in a relationship
at all.
3) Those that are interested in short term fun while
they're single, but would like to pursue a relationship
if they meet a good match. Here we have two subcategories:
A) Those that object to the four kids thing,
and B) Those that don't.
4) Those that are only interested in a long-term
relationship. We also have the sub-categories here...
Those that object to the kids, and those that don't.
My first question to YOU is: "Which type of woman are
YOU looking for?"
Sounds to me like you're looking for a #3, option B...
a woman who's interested in some short-term fun, who would
like to pursue a long-term relationship if she meets a
good match... and is open to the kids. (If you're only
looking for a woman who's after short term fun, then the
kids don't really matter. Just don't bring them up.)
My perspective: Date some women, and BLOW THEIR MINDS
with the techniques you've learned. Use the Cocky and
Funny material... dial up the ATTRACTION... if you get
physical with them, make it UNFORGETTABLE.
My experience is that if a person is REALLY ATTRACTED
to another person, they'll put aside all obstacles in
order to be with the object of their desires.
Yes, this means 4 kids and an ex.
If I were you, I'd project the attitude that you're
not interested in any woman that can't adapt to the
situation. Communicate that YOU'RE the one doing the
selecting, and it will cancel out a woman's objections
before they even arise. Think about it.
If you're reading this right now, and you're in a
situation in life where you'd like to get back on track
and start having more success with women and dating,
then I'd recommend that you download a copy of my online
eBook "Double Your Dating." It contains all of my very
best ideas and techniques for attracting women, and I
think you'll find that it will DRAMATICALLY increase
your success with women and dating.
Just go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/
...and download it now.
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
DATING TIP: COCKY&FUNNY SUCCESS STORY
***QUESTION***
Yes, there is indeed a big difference between what you
have made of me now through the powerful insights expressed
in your newsletters, and who I was before I had met you. I
always thought that being nice, sweet, and courteous was an
ultimate-irrefutable way to get the girls we long to have,
but the irony is that we never make that dream come true.
Thanks my dear David, for showing me the Tao of being a
superb success with women, for walking with me hand by hand
through this mysterious path when it comes to women, because
really, most of the times they make no sense. I owe you my
present success with them, and I thank you in advance for
the foregoing prosperity that the future holds for me with
them.