This week I want to talk more about what makes women

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This week I want to talk more about what makes women
feel "attracted" to men.
And if you've read my book, or have been tuned in to
this email newsletter, you know that I believe that there
is a big difference between what women SAY that they want
in a man, and what makes a woman feel that ELECTRIC GUT
LEVEL ATTRACTION INSIDE for a man.
In other words, if you ask most women what they "want"
in a man, they'll say "Oh, I want a nice, honest, thoughtful
guy who can communicate well..."
And the truth is, this IS what most women "want." But
remember, there's a BIG difference between what women "want"
and what makes a woman feel ATTRACTION inside.
ATTRACTION is a mysterious thing, (as are all emotions
in my humble opinion). Pascal said "The heart has its
reasons, of which reason knows nothing."
What he was getting at here is that our emotional
systems have developed over millions of years through a
complex process of evolution and selection... and that
the emotions we feel are triggered by things that are
usually not at all "logical."
As a quick example, let me ask you... what makes YOU
feel that INSTANT ATTRACTION for a woman? For most men it's
a certain look, a body part... maybe a voice tone or a
touch.
Most of the single guys I know don't say "Hey, let's go
out Friday night and look for some women with great morals,
stable families, and good conversation skills."
If we humans were purely LOGICAL creatures, then we
wouldn't care too much about looks. As a matter of fact, we
might even think things like "Well, she looks TOO good...
she probably spends a lot of time tending to her looks,
which means she won't be a very attentive partner and
parent... I choose not to feel attracted to her."
And then we all woke up.
And back to reality... as you've probably heard more
than enough, men are attracted more to looks, and women are
ATTRACTED more to personality, style, and communication.
Sure, Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise are handsome in a way
that turns women on, but these guys aren't the RULE, they're
the exception.
Men read Playboy, women read romance novels.
"Yes, but what about PlayGIRL?" you might ask.
I saw an interesting study once that found that most of
the readers of Playgirl magazine are GAY MEN. Interesting?
The fact is that women's attention is captured by
romance
novels because they offer something that satisfies a DEEPER
need. And this deeper need is both emotional and complex.
Since we only have another few paragraphs, I'd better
break it down for you...
If you run down to the bookstore and pick up some of
these
romance novels, you'll find something interesting... the
stories usually start out with a male character that is
wild,
often abusive, untamed, and generally a not-very-nice kind
of
guy (Sure, by the end of the book he's usually calmed down a
bit, but you always know who he REALLY is).
I'm sure you've either experience or seen the situation
where a guy says "For some reason the women I know date
these
jerks, then I'm the 'friend' that gets to hear about it."
Why is it that women date jerks, then tell their "nice
guy"
friends the stories instead of just dating the nice guys in
the
first place?
ATTRACTION. ATTRACTION. ATTRACTION.
OK, so what are some of the things that make women FEEL
that GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION?
More importantly, how can us guys do some of these
things
to make women feel attracted to US without having to be
abusive
jerks?
My answer is to learn about how the "Attractive Jerk"
personality acts, but leave out the ABUSIVE aspects... and
mix
in a few other surprises to make an irresistible
combination.
Here's an example:
Women are attracted to men who aren't easy to pin down,
who are busy with their lives, and who they have to work to
get and keep the attention of.
It's hard to get a Jerk's attention because he's so
consumed with himself. He's busy being selfish, so it's just
natural that a woman will find it hard to get his attention.
If you want to use this psychology to your advantage,
you
can do things like:
1) Talk about times you're busy before talking about times
you're available.
Example: You're talking on the phone and making plans to get
together. Most guys will say something like "How about
tomorrow at 3?" The smart guy will say "Let's see, I'm busy
tomorrow morning and the next day. And I'm going out of
town this weekend... But I can do it tomorrow at 3."
See the difference? It may not sound like much, but when
you start saying things like "Well, I'm busy at this time...
and I'm busy at that time... etc." the person listening
starts
to unconsciously think "Uh oh, it sounds like they're
busy...
I wonder if they're going to have time for me..."
2) Leave her alone once in awhile when you're out together.
Example: You're out together at a store window shopping.
Most
guys will